The Fake Grass Man

I remember it like it was yesterday, back in 2002 at the Ideal Home Show in Dublin. We were launching our concept: artificial garden grass and greens. You should have heard the chuckles! “Selling sand to the Arabs, are ya?” one fellow quipped, while another added, “Who the hell would ever want plastic grass? Ho ho ho!”. The prevailing wisdom was that Ireland, the Emerald Isle, had plenty of free-growing grass, so why would anyone pay for fake?. They openly scoffed, and I understood their skepticism. But that ridicule didn’t deter me; in fact, it only strengthened my resolve.

What those early doubters couldn’t see was the potential, or how much this industry would evolve. Back then, artificial grass was often seen as a novelty, associated with flat, outdated green carpets. But product improvements, like the introduction of a curled, twisted thatch layer, revolutionised its look and feel, making it far more natural and durable. Modern synthetic lawns are designed to mimic real grass so closely that it’s often hard to tell the difference, and they offer incredible resilience without needing sand infill in many cases.
Today, it’s an effective, affordable, and low-maintenance choice that can completely transform a space. What was once considered “weird” is now a desirable feature, boosting property values and offering a practical solution for busy homeowners, families, and pet owners. The industry has seen exponential growth, with product improvements driving its mainstream acceptance.
The journey from laughed-at novelty to landscape staple shows how deeply perceptions can shift. The truth is, every great innovation looks ridiculous… until it doesn’t.

When considering artificial grass for your outdoor space, a common and fair question arises: Is it truly environmentally friendly? The initial thought for many often turns to “plastic grass,” and it’s essential to look beyond the surface to understand its full ecological impact. It’s a nuanced discussion, and as someone deep in this industry, I believe in providing the straight facts.

On one hand, the primary criticism is valid: artificial grass is made from plastic. This means it doesn’t biodegrade quickly and poses recycling challenges, especially for older products where the backing and fibers are difficult to separate. There have been specific concerns raised about crumb rubber infill used in sports pitches, with some predicting its eventual ban due to potential health and disposal issues. Even the presence of “forever chemicals” (PFOA) in the extrusion process is a recognized issue that should be phased out.
However, to gain a full perspective, we must compare it to the realities of maintaining a traditional lawn. Real lawns often demand a significant environmental toll. Consider the vast amounts of precious drinking water used for irrigation, with one source estimating that American lawns soak up 9 billion gallons daily. Then there’s the heavy reliance on pesticides and synthetic fertilizers, with shockingly high figures showing up to ten times more chemicals used on gardens than in agriculture. Furthermore, petrol-powered lawn mowers contribute significantly to air and noise pollution, with some estimates equating an hour of mowing to driving a car for miles.

In contrast, a quality synthetic lawn offers clear benefits. Once installed, it eliminates the need for constant watering and removes the use of harmful chemicals like weed killers and fertilizers, which can leach into water systems. It also drastically reduces emissions and noise from maintenance equipment. Modern artificial grass is also designed to be incredibly long-lasting, easily exceeding two decades if properly cared for.

The industry is also evolving. There’s a growing push for products made from recycled materials, with options now available that are nearly 90% recycled and 100% recyclable, utilizing non-latex backings to ease the recycling process. While public interest in these greener alternatives has been slow to date, it’s a clear path forward.

Ultimately, choosing artificial grass is a lifestyle decision with environmental trade-offs. While it presents challenges as a plastic product, its potential to conserve water, reduce chemical use, and mitigate maintenance-related pollution offers a compelling argument for its place in sustainable living. The goal is continuous improvement, striving for a future where artificial grass is both practical and truly green.

Are you tired of your lawn being a constant chore and a drain on resources? Many homeowners find maintaining a natural lawn is a “soul-crushing time suck”, requiring endless mowing, watering, and chemical treatments. Consider this: American lawns alone soak up 9 billion gallons of treated drinking water daily for irrigation, and gardens often use ten times more chemicals than agricultural fields. This traditional approach clearly has a significant environmental footprint.

But there’s a new landscape on the horizon. Modern artificial grass offers a beautiful, low-maintenance alternative that frees up your precious time and eliminates the need for harmful pesticides and excessive watering. What’s truly revolutionary is that today’s advanced synthetic lawns are increasingly made from recycled materials and designed to be 100% recyclable at the end of their long life. This represents a vital step towards a more sustainable, circular economy, ensuring your green space contributes positively to the planet.

Despite these breakthroughs, shifting public perception can be a challenge. We’ve introduced highly recyclable grass options made from 80% recycled content, yet “it has been disappointingly slow to sell”. This shows that embracing truly eco-friendly landscaping is a two-way street, requiring both innovative products and conscious choices from homeowners. Choosing a modern synthetic lawn is a lifestyle upgrade that aligns with a greener future.

Every thriving business has an origin story, and ours is deeply rooted in grit, perseverance, and a firm belief in building something better. For years, our synthetic grass operation was based out of a farmyard. It was a humble beginning, but it came with significant, unforeseen challenges.

From Farmyard Chaos to Fire and Relocation
Our initial base, a farmyard near a railway station, became a magnet for trouble. We faced a continuous stream of unwelcome visitors, leading to drink and drug parties, and significant damage. The barn was burned or partially burned down three times in as many years, even incurring a €1,000 bill from the fire brigade. We’d find tractors in canals and struggle with vandals. The final straw came one summer season with maximum stock; an act of “pure badness” saw accelerant poured over our artificial grass rolls, causing a massive fire visible for miles. We lost approximately €20,000 of stock, which melted into a useless blob of plastic, and learned a painful lesson about the value of insurance. We knew then: it was time to move on.

The Gritty Search for a Permanent Home
The search for a new headquarters began in the depths of the Great Recession, a notoriously difficult time for property acquisition. Many properties were “on the market” only to avoid actualizing losses for banks. We encountered obstacle after obstacle: a County Council blocked one potential site due to development levies owed by a previous, bust developer, preferring to leave the unit idle rather than facilitate a new, tax-paying business.

Eventually, a promising warehouse with offices and yard space was found, and our bid was accepted. But the real struggle had just begun. The deal dragged on for months, then years, caught in a tangle of liquidators, estate agents, and lawyers. The roof blew off in a storm, and even after fixing it, the unscrupulous previous owner engaged thugs to break in, change locks, and attack the premises nightly, smashing windows and terrifying security. Despite significant investment of time and energy, we were ultimately forced to walk away, broken-hearted. The economy was recovering, and property bargains were gone.

The Birth of Grassland: Against All Odds
Three long years later, we received the keys to what would become Grassland. This former paint factory, derelict for years, was a ramshackle, overgrown site on nearly an acre, with 10,000 square feet of warehousing, some even without a roof. It wasn’t even officially for sale; it was spotted by chance while looking at another property. A handshake deal in a local pub bypassed the usual hurdles, but new ones quickly emerged.

The bank initially refused financing due to a minor legal technicality. Undeterred, I poured in all personal savings and business cash flow. A significant deposit from a large school project, secured by our sales director, provided a crucial boost. A “home extension” loan (since repaid) finally pushed the deal over the line. Within a year, the legal issues were cleared, and we had 100% freehold ownership.

Building Ireland’s Turf HQ: A Labor of Love
The transformation of Grassland was a monumental undertaking. It involved everything from putting on new roofs and fixing leaks to replacing structural steels, clearing lorry-loads of detritus, and installing all new utilities – water, electricity, phones, and internet. We tackled it all, often personally, working alongside the team, even building our own “home office” facade within the warehouse to showcase our product. Costly features like a glass balcony were creatively achieved on a shoestring budget by fabricating frames and cladding them with artificial grass.

Today, Grassland is a source of immense pride. It’s a functional, efficient operational HQ where our turf products can be bulk-bought and stored, with workshops, internal and external display areas, ample yard space, and parking. It now features a truck loading bay, allowing direct container deliveries from Rotterdam, saving the company €50,000 per annum by bypassing the UK after Brexit.

This journey, from desperate circumstances and a burned-out farmyard to a successful multi-million euro business with 20 employees serving thousands of customers, is a testament to entrepreneurial resilience. Grassland isn’t just a building; it’s a symbol of overcoming adversity, a place where vision met grit, and a business truly found its home, becoming the undeniable leader in artificial grass in the Emerald Isle.

When we recommend a product, we believe in putting our money where our mouth is. That’s why, right from the start, our own garden became the proving ground for modern artificial grass. Before we offered it to anyone else, we made our home lawn the very first installation. This wasn’t just about selling a product; it was about living with it, day in and day out.

The results? Our family, including our children, grew up enjoying a perpetually green, low-maintenance outdoor space. What started as a personal trial quickly became a testament to the product’s incredible benefits. We even documented the transformation, and that video has since resonated with thousands, accumulating over 300,000 views online. Seeing is believing, and for our household, the convenience and beauty of synthetic turf truly made our lives easier.

This personal journey allowed us to connect with homeowners on a deeper level. We can genuinely say we’ve experienced the freedom from constant mowing, muddy footprints, and the endless battle against brown patches. It’s more than just a lawn; it’s a lifestyle upgrade we’ve embraced ourselves. Our commitment began at home, and it’s that firsthand experience that fuels our passion for bringing hassle-free green spaces to your family too.

Every truly remarkable outdoor transformation begins not with a shovel or a roll of turf, but with a vision. It’s the ability to look at a neglected patch of ground – perhaps a muddy expanse, a tired old lawn, or even just a concrete slab – and see something entirely new: a vibrant play area, a serene sanctuary, or an elegant entertainment space.

For us, this isn’t just a business; it’s a deep-seated passion. Early in my career, after years of casual landscaping projects for friends and family, I experienced a moment of profound clarity. Guests at a party, having witnessed the “disaster zone” a garden once was, openly admired the transformation I’d achieved. In that moment, the “penny dropped.” I realized that this knack for turning chaos into order, for visualizing potential where others saw only problems, was more than just a skill – it was a calling.

This deep-rooted vision is what drives our approach to every project. It’s why we focus on understanding your lifestyle, your needs, and your dreams for your outdoor area. Because when you choose a partner who not only provides high-quality solutions but also possesses an innate ability to see and create beauty, you’re not just getting a new lawn. You’re gaining a living space designed to bring lasting joy and functionality to your home.

When you envision a new lawn, you might still picture older, less-realistic synthetic options. However, today’s artificial grass is a marvel of modern engineering, a far cry from its predecessors. Understanding how it’s meticulously manufactured is key to appreciating its true value and why it can genuinely transform your outdoor space.

At its core, premium synthetic turf starts with high-quality plastic pellets, typically polypropylene. These are precisely blended with UV stabilizers and custom dyes – a critical step that ensures your lawn stays vibrant, naturally colored, and resists fading under the sun’s harsh rays for many years. This mixture is then heated and extruded through specialized moulds, creating individual fibers with unique shapes and varying thicknesses. This intricate process is what gives the grass its remarkably realistic appearance and soft touch underfoot, while also dictating its “bouncebackability” – how well the blades recover after being compressed.

For homeowners and contractors alike, a crucial insight emerges: thicker and wider individual fibers directly translate to superior durability and better long-term performance, especially in high-traffic areas. In a market unfortunately “swamped with often poor quality grasses made from cheap yarn”, knowing these manufacturing details empowers you to select a product that truly delivers. Choose wisely; a well-engineered synthetic lawn is a smart, lasting investment, offering beauty and convenience without the endless chores of natural grass.

The quality and longevity of modern artificial grass are directly determined by its advanced manufacturing process and the characteristics of its fibers. Specifically, the precise composition of plastic pellets with UV stabilizers and dyes ensures the grass remains vibrant and resists fading over time. Furthermore, the shape and thickness of the individual yarn fibers, determined during the extrusion process, are crucial for the grass’s durability, realistic appearance, and its ability to “bounce back” after heavy use.

For homeowners and contractors, it’s vital to understand that thicker and wider fibers generally indicate better performance, especially for areas with heavy foot traffic, as the market currently contains “poor quality grasses made from cheap yarn that just won’t perform or give the expected or promised longevity”.

Remember the iconic backyard of the Brady Bunch, with its famously “novel” synthetic lawn? It might seem like a relic from a bygone era, but that glimpse into 1970s television was an early peek into a landscaping innovation that has truly come of age. While artificial grass existed decades ago, the modern versions are a world apart from those early iterations.

Today’s synthetic lawns aren’t just about convenience; they’re a testament to continuous development and sophisticated engineering. Gone are the days of a merely functional, carpet-like surface. Through extensive research and testing in areas like flammability, water drainage, and resistance to heavy use, the industry has achieved remarkable breakthroughs.

What does this mean for your home? It means you can now have a lawn that doesn’t just “look like” real grass – it often outperforms it. Advanced fiber technology ensures a realistic appearance and soft touch underfoot, while built-in UV stabilization protects against sun fading for years. This robust construction delivers a consistently beautiful, green landscape that remains unaffected by drought or heavy foot traffic.

Imagine a pristine lawn, day after day, without the endless cycle of mowing, watering, or chemical treatments. This isn’t just about saving time; it’s about reclaiming your outdoor space to truly enjoy. The advancements in synthetic grass offer a durable, low-maintenance solution that seamlessly blends beauty with practicality, transforming your garden into a year-round sanctuary.

We all dream of that perfect green expanse, a lush carpet where kids play and summer evenings unwind. But what if that seemingly idyllic lawn is actually a historical relic, silently demanding more of your time, money, and energy than you ever realized? As one astute observer put it, “grass is the cheapest plant to install and the most expensive to maintain.”

It’s a surprising truth, but the traditional, perfectly manicured lawn isn’t a natural part of a garden. Its origins trace back centuries, from defensive perimeters around medieval castles to grand statements of aristocratic wealth, where landowners showed off by dedicating vast stretches of land to pure aesthetics, not agriculture.

Fast forward to today, and this historical affectation has evolved into a “cultural juggernaut”. We’re often conditioned to believe a pristine lawn is a mark of good citizenship, even if it’s a “high maintenance, wasteful and labour intensive affectation” that demands countless hours. Think about it: the endless cycle of mowing, fertilizing, weeding, and watering – it’s a constant battle against nature simply to maintain an unnatural ideal.

Many homeowners feel “unwittingly enslaved” by their lawns, trapped on a “hamster wheel of endless lawn maintenance”. If your weekends are vanishing under the hum of a mower, or you’re tired of battling mud and weeds, it might be time to question this conventional wisdom. Imagine reclaiming your time and transforming your outdoor space into a true sanctuary, free from this relentless burden.

Well folks, it’s D day for ‘the Big Hairy Green Book’. It’s available for purchase now from Amazon.

I’m going to be bold and simply ask for the sale. Please buy it. You might even enjoy it. It’s as much about the adventures of an Irish landscaper as a technical manual.

Better still please give me an honest review. I know the haters gonna hate. The book will, in due course, get zero stars and five star ratings with feck all in the middle. And that’s okay. Just hopefully some of you guys will be kind enough to be in the latter category of reviewers.

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Here’s another couple of snippets not in the book—

Theres a TV show fronted by a genial celebrity architect where he transforms the homes, and therefore lives, of his clients. Rather like us with gardens come to think of it. Only annoyingly gardens for him are merely an afterthought. When the TV company’s producers called us I quickly overcame my annoyance. They wanted an oval shaped lawn installed the following Saturday, the last day of the shoot. The weather forecast was horrendous but we promised to show up. What should have cost €3,800 we discounted to €2,500 inc VAT hoping that the resulting publicity and exposure for our new fangled ‘plastic grass’ would make it more than worthwhile.

The familiar story arc of filming documented the hopes, the busted budgets, the inevitable dramas of delays, mistakes and rows culminating in a triumphant reveal at the end where clients, builders and architect are all friends again
drinking champagne and admiring the work.

We played our part, going above and beyond our brief, adding copious amounts of bark mulch to hide the mess the builders had made. I remember getting very wet but we got finished.

Our work made the final cut and featured prominently as the backdrop to a fabulous wrap around home extension. As the champagne was being drunk ‘sanctuary synthetics’ appeared fleetingly in the credits. So far so good.

We were to be paid by the builders. Months went by with no sign of a cheque. Eventually they admitted that they in turn had not been paid. In fact they were being sued, along with the architect and the TV production company. It turned out that the homeowner had form in this regard. The bogus list of flaws in the building included such crimes as a chip in the paintwork behind a radiator. I don’t think it included the new lawn. In this writers humble opinion the work was top notch. The home owner, who it turns out had a close personal relationship with a
legal professional, possibly had no intention of ever paying. To make matters worse, they demanded a big settlement to boot.

The production company correctly fought it but to make a long story short, a few years later, they lost. The builders and other parties involved were sympathetic to us but it was out of their hands. If the person had had any semblance of honour they could have paid us directly. No chance.

A total sickener for all involved. If this story is truncated it’s because of legal advice. It can be dangerous to tell the truth. As John Wayne said ‘forgive your enemies, but remember the bastard’s name’.

I myself can often be seen wearing a rain proof cowboy hat. I consider it a practical if a touch flamboyant item of clothing suitable for our outdoor work. When not on my head it resides on the dashboard of the jeep. It’s become
something of a recognised calling card. But there’s method in my madness.

It’s simple reverse psychology. My thinking being that if people see me deliberately trying to look like a cowboy well then surely they will conclude I’m not actually a cowboy.

Ah lads, really? Yes, I’m back again mostly to remind you guys, my favourite people, that I’m putting my head above the parapet with the imminent publication of ‘the Big Hairy Green Book’. No doubt, regardless of its literary merit, I’ll be royally slated by the horrified eco warriors.

The fact that large tracts of the book honestly analyse the environmental implications of the product, as well as vigorously attacking so called real lawns as an abomination, probably won’t help. I would hope for some support from those of you who see the practical necessity of artificial grass. Hey, I’ve always said it. You can still have a garden and be a gardener even with a fake lawn.

Here’s more snippets that I reluctantly removed from da book—

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At the time of writing our British friends have blatantly gone ahead and, much to the delight of the Kremlin, exited out of the EU. Arguments are still ongoing, years after their flawed referendum about the merits of Brexit. Lemmings running straight off a cliff from my perspective. As a sovereign nation it’s free to do what it likes but the arrogance and wilful ignorance of many towards (a) the Northern Irish border and peace process and (b) the devastating effect on their economy (not to mention the knock on effect in the Republic) is depressing. That it is entirely self inflicted will be of no comfort to struggling businesses. Combined with the Covid 19 economic fallout it’s a total mess.

Rant over. For now.

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